Hate and Love and What Lies in Between
by Tien Riu
Summary: [H/D] [slash] When you don't love him, and you don't hate him - what do you feel? Introspective!Harry, Exasperated!Draco and everything else. Rated for language and definate slashy overtones


Hate and Love and What Lies In Between 

By Tien Riu

tien_riu@yahoo.com

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This is what happens after I spend too much time filling in graduate application forms with equal parts hope and fear that I'll be refused immediately.

And as for the _why_ of this little ficlet: mostly it revolves around the fandom clichés that come with writing Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy.  Either they hate each other with a virulence that would put bigots to shame - or they love each other with an intensity that makes most of us cringe (or read more - sometimes you never know).  The stories all seem to land in either category - I wondered what would lie in between.

And this is what eventuated.

Note - this has absolutely nothing to do (at all) with the "Without Question" storyline.  

Response and reviews always appreciated.

On a separate note - this.  .  .  Ficlet? Cookie? Strange-oddity-that-dare-not-speak-its-name has been up since yesterday at the new fiction archive I'm helping at: skyehawke dot com :: archives.  Link in my profile.  Go there - review, check out the forums.  ^_^

Yours,

Tien Riu

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Is this the way it has to be?

Those were the words he shouted out - and it rather shocked him.  Because this was not the way it was.

There was a routine - a rhythm to their fights.

One of them - not always the evilSlytherin, sometimes the righteousGryffindor - would taunt.

The other would respond.

Eventually there would be yelling.  Perhaps a shove, maybe an attempted punch that might or might not land (and result in a black eye, a bruised lip and bloodied knuckles) and then the hexes would be thrown.

There were rules - not written, not acknowledged, but there all the same.

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter fought - Slytherin and Gryffindor hated each other.  At least so the students of Hogwarts saw - even if they sometimes didn't understand _why_ they fought any more.  After all, the war was over, and both had been on the 'right' side.  And there were so few students left that Houses might as well not exist.

There was another reason why they fought - of course.  

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter fucked - Slytherin and Gryffindor fighting for dominance.  In the shadows of the Quidditch change rooms, the broom closet, in Green House 3 - in ruins since the end of sixth year and the attack that had killed all of the second year class.

Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter fought - and fucked.  

It was part of the rules.  

And Harry was tired of it.

    "What?"  Draco stopped, hand still gripped on his want, "What the hell are you talking about?"  he demanded.

   "Is this all that can be?"  Harry asked, "We either fight or we fu - have sex."  because Harry cared enough about what he stood for and who he was to not swear.

   "Fuck."  and Draco did not, "You're being introspective again."  he swore and flipped a hand through his hair, "Does it matter?"

Harry shrugged, "It isn't normal is it? I mean - most couples don't jump from one end of the emotional spectrum to the next -"

   "Been talking with Hermione again?"  Draco sneered; Harry ignored him, staring pensively at the window. 

    Eventually, the Slytherin sighed and walked over to his sometimes lover and nemesis.

    "This is why we fight - this is why we -"  at Harry's slight tensing, he changed the word, " - bugger -"

   "Draco -"

   "Diddle -"

   "Draco."

   "Make passionate, glorious love in some overly romantic setting - like the Astronomy Tower the night of the lunar eclipse."  Draco snapped, "That good enough you prude?"

Harry snorted, "As if there'd be floor space in the Astronomy Tower during the lunar eclipse."

   "Forget the class Professor Sinistra would be holding - every Hufflepuff third year and his girlfriend would be there for a snuggle-fest."  Draco drawled, "Stupid Hufflepuffs."

   "They survive.  It's more than can be said for the rest of us."  Harry murmured.

    There was silence.  They remained by the window, staring out at the dark stretch of land that was Hogwarts' grounds at night.

    "This is why."  Draco said finally, leaning his head against Harry's back.

   "What?"

   "This is why we do it.  Why we fight.  Why we fuck.  Why."

   "So we can stand in front of a window at midnight?"  Harry asked, somewhat sarcastically.

   "No."  Draco hit Harry's arm, but it wasn't a true punch so Harry ignored it, "You're missing my deep, philosophical lesson here."  he said, "We do it because - there's nothing else."

   "What?"

   "Gryffindors."  Draco rolled his eyes, "There's nothing else you daft idiot."

   "This isn't one of those Zen things is it? You aren't going to say that there's no spoon or something like that are you?"  Harry asked suspiciously.

   "I give up."  Draco said, turning away, "Even in your introspective moods you're a completely idiot."  he added as he left, not turning around: "I meant - that there's nothing else.  Between us.  We hate each other.  Or we love each other.  There is no emotional spectrum, it's hate or love."

   "We can't even be friends?"  Harry asked, and his voice was almost wistful.

   "Ghosts are reflections - what we are in death is no more than what we were in life."  Draco replied.

The chamber was empty for the rest of the night.  Eventually the sun rose.  The light shone through the ruins of Hogwarts and the birds filled the quiet with shrieks and screams and other bird related cries.

      It wasn't a happy ending - but neither was it a bad one.

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Review? Please? If only to tell me how absolutely weird this one was?


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